|Only slightly crazy...
||[Aug. 11th, 2008|03:42 pm]
Tales of the Jedi
|||||Woodhands - I wasn't made for fighting||]|
"Approaching surface..." the computer displayed across its screen.
"We're here! Good job everyone! It was really a great group effort!" Tella called out to her ship. She giggled as it echoed through the empty hallways. "Of course, I really think it was a bit of a solo effort on my part at some points. Sometimes you guys can get a bit lazy!" She laughed louder as her voice echoed again.
The ship settled softly into the tall grass that surrounded the blackened ruins, the ship's ancient parts emitting a few whistles of steam as they cushioned the vehicle. Tella clapped her hands enthusiastically and hopped up from her seat. It had been a long voyage, but she was finally here. Skipping through the halls of the ship, she saluted imaginary underlings that had "helped" her on the journey.
"Good job!" "Well done, cadet!" "Make sure to tell the mechanics to look into those noises the engine keeps making!"
She ran down the loading ramp, doing a collection of cartwheels and flips when she hit the grass. The ship was in plain sight of anyone passing by, and so was she, but that really didn't matter much any more, did it? Finally, she fell into the soft green stalks, laughing and giggling as she watched the white strands of her hair fall down around her face. She remembered how the long silky threads had once been much darker... Or maybe they had never been nothing but white since the day she was born! After all, everything else was a lie! How had she gotten to this point? How had she become so insane the she doubted even her own hair color? How was she so crazy that she'd come here to kill herself here? As she pondered questions she already knew the answer to, she laughed at herself. Laughed, and laughed, and laughed. She did a lot of that now - laughing. Your life is much more carefree when you think it's been a total lie. She giggled again at the insanity of it all. How has this all started again?
It had been with the end of the temple, hadn't it? She laughed hysterically. The temple! What temple?! There had been no temple, there was no proof of any of their temples! Just some ruins that could have been anything! The temples had all been parts of her imagination, just like everything else. She had gone after Dante to save him, though looking back on it she doubted she could have. Dante, Dante, Dante... He had been too handsome to be real, hadn't he? Well, after all, he hadn't been real anyways. He'd just been part of her illusion, just like everyone else. She laughed. Ah, but she loved her illusion with all her heart! Of course, back then, she still thought he was real. She could still feel him then through the bond they shared: she had still had proof. Slowly, though, that faded with the doubt that filled her heart. Finally, she grew desperate, desperate to find anyone, see any sign that they had all really been there. Of course, there wasn't. No word of a cute blue twi'lek and her adorable blond boyfriend, none of a beautiful woman with her young son, none of a majestic girl with long flowing hair. None of Tal, of Zen, of Eres, of Jason. They weren't real, she realized, and they had never touched her life because they were all just her imagination. She giggled. How foolish had she been to think such beautiful people - inside and out - could ever really be real? Such pure souls didn't exist in this day an age.
So she changed herself - throwing away the last elements of her lie. She took on her echani appearance again, changed her voice, stopped shapeshifting, put away her lightsaber, even muddied her force signature so that it could only barely be recognized and made it as quiet as she could so that she would appear 'normal'. She was not the person she had once been... and she was happy she wasn't. The hollow hurt and sadness - the pain and anguish she had felt while looking for so long - that had once filled her heart had faded away when she had become someone else. She'd let go of the lie she had once embraced and made a brand new one. And so now she was sick of it all, and she'd come to end it where it all began.
She heard footsteps running towards her through the grass and she laughed hysterically again. This was either her death or just another illusion. She didn't care which, it was all so funny to her now. The figure stopped above her head and she opened her eyes and smiled. The face was obscured by the sun, but she could make out the jedi robes that rippled in the wind.
"Hello up there!" she called up happily to the figure.